When Constable Penny Martin pulled over the minibus she didn’t know what to expect having followed it with flashing lights for quite a while. On boarding Penny is met by a mixture of mostly septuagenarians and children. Lydia, the 53 year old driver, didn’t stop because they urgently need a bathroom and she was hopeful the police were clearing the way.

When they hear Penny stopped them to apprehend someone from the bus, the confessions begin. First Lydia, then an elderly man confessing to an unnamed crime, a teen with a baby promising to not do it again, followed by two elderly women – one declaring its art not crime, the other saying they all died of natural causes. But the one Penny is looking for just crossed the highway. Who knew someone that old could move so well?

Thus begins How to Age Disgracefully by Clare Pooley. Pooley’s beginning prologue is actually almost the end of her story and we have to go back three months to find what transpired to have this mismatched crew on a bus ready to confess.

Lydia, an empty-nester with a dismissive husband, needs to fill her time. She takes a job running the Senior Citizens Social Club at the community center. Her advertisements nets her six members to begin the club.

Art is an out of work actor who is estranged from his family and a kleptomaniac. William Is retired paparazzo and Art’s best friend. Ruby is an avid knitter but seems to have trouble with proportion as everything she works on seems three sizes too large.

Anna is a retired driver with a love of vivid hair color. She is widowed five times over and uses her walker like a plow to clear her path. Pauline, a retired headmistress, seems to bully her way through life. She brought her dog, Margaret Thatcher, and defies Lydia’s reminder that dogs aren’t allowed.

Then there is Daphne. Daphne carries an air of superiority and dresses like she is having tea at the Ritz. She has lived as a recluse for the last fifteen years and the Social Club is step one in her quest to change.

Lydia has a stereotypical vision of those over seventy and thinks they’ll be working puzzles and playing bingo. The members however have other ideas – skydiving, target practice, speed dating and karate to name a few.

Before they can make any plans, Pauline has shared her opinions on several things including Lydia’s capabilities as a leader. Lydia has barely completed her silent thoughts on where Pauline can go when there is a loud crack and the ceiling falls – right on top of Pauline.

Everyone is ok including Margaret Thatcher but Pauline is dead – from a stroke not the ceiling collapse. Feeling responsible, Lydia takes Pauline’s dog home with her. To make the dog more acceptable to her husband she declares “Maggie” is a bichon frise not the mongrel she obviously is. Her husband still objects so she devises a plan to have other members of the Social Club share dog ownership with her.

Art needs a dog to perform in a talent show so he readily agrees. Daphne, surprisingly, also agrees to help. But dog ownership is secondary to the notice they find on the community center door. The town council is holding a meeting to decide the fate of the building. The town has not kept up maintenance and the collapse is a small part of larger issues plus a development company is keen to own the site.

If they close the center where will the club, the Lamaze class and Alcoholic Anonymous go? Not to mention the nursery across the hall. A lot of people depend on the council nursery, including Ziggy.

Ziggy is finishing school and had plans to study computer science at the university. An ill-considered tryst at a school dance resulted in the birth of Kylie. Saying no to adoption, Ziggy and his mom are raising his daughter alone. He already has to navigate being a single father at school and the gangs in his neighborhood, losing the nursery may be the last straw.

But this group of seniors is not willing to accept what may be fate. Art has the initial idea to partner with the nursey on their mandatory nativity program. Then Daphne, the master planner, steps in.

Together they will deal with Lydia’s philandering husband and Art’s addiction to liberating things from store shelves; protect the yarn bomber whose public yarn pieces are creating a stir; help Ziggy; and try to save the community center.

Daphne is a woman with a past and was a recluse for a reason. With the publicity they generate, can she see all her plans through before the past catches up with her?

Filled with interesting characters this is a humorous read with heart. You’ll find it in the large print section at Joplin Public Library.

Find in Catalog

Review by Patty Crane, Reference Librarian